A conversation I heard the other day between two of my co-workers (well one co-worker, one boss -- well rather boss/wife of one of the owners) about how she (the boss) were starting to look for pre-schools to send her three and a half year old to. Naturally my pop-cultured littered mind immediately began to think about an episode of LOCI -- "Please Note: We are No Longer Accepting Letters of Recommendation from Henry Kissenger," which is about this parent who goes on a killing spree to get her two year old son into this prestigious school.
Now, I'm not saying my bosses would kill to get their child into a prestigious school, but they obviously are putting a lot of stock into where they end up sending her. They, especially the wife, seem to be much more about appearance than anything else and her children just seem to add to what she wants her image to be: wife, mother, business woman, but the fact is she doesn't really seem to do any whole heatedly. They have a nanny that spends most of the time with the kids and their daughter, the 3 year old, is quite the little hellion. They're just like, "oh she beats to her own drummer" as the child is running and yelling up and down the hallway. There's a fine line between letting your child be who they are and raising them to be disrespectful to others.
Personally, I think private school will only add to this because it puts you in this neat little box where the majority of people around you are just like you: white in an upper-middle class to upper class family. I'm sorry, but I don't care how good the academics are because this does not prepare you for the real world, where there are --gasp-- people that are not like you and who will completely disagree with you and call you out if you do something that they don't like.
I grew up in public school and in public schools that were not in the best areas of Newport News, which is a long strip that gets progressively higher in economic status as you move closer to Williamsburg, but I also went to schools with tough teachers and ones who actually prepared you for college.
I was astounded when I got to college at how many people did not know how to write a formal essay -- I had to learn that in middle school -- granted I also went to a public college that accepts way more students than it should.
I realize I was lucky because I was able to take the "pre-IB" classes, which were I guess like accelerated classes, but the more people who move away from public schools and into private schools, the more good teachers are going to move too. And that's why a typical high school class graduates without knowing how to write a simple essay, because they can't keep the really talented teachers.
Private schools only add to the considerable divide between the rich and the poor and in subliminal ways teaches one set that they are the future leaders and another that they really just don't matter that much.
How can we expect change in our society if we're, even if subconsciously, instilling this us v. them mentality? How do you expect your kids to be truly compassionate and open minded if they never see how other people live?
Plus it just irks me -- this idea of putting you're toddler into a competitive academic arena, because a part of me is just like let them be a kid for a couple more years before they have worry about grades and homework. Is it really necessary for success in the world? Plus it just seems likes it's more for the parents than the children -- as if it's just another symbol of their their lifestyle.
Maybe, I'm being too harsh, but I just think we should put more value in our public schools, because the majority of us can not afford to send our kids to private school, but that shouldn't mean that those kids don't deserve just as solid an education as those who can.
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Um, yeah. Just commenting to say I am 100% in agreement with you. I am public school educated all the way through college and I received a top-notch education.
The class system in this country annoys me because it's false. And supported not only by those who feel they need to protect it, but also by those "beneath" it who need something to look up and aspire to.
And as many say, "The hardest thing about Harvard is getting in."
I mostly agree with you. I remember when I was about to go to high school and my parents were talking about sending me to Punahou, a private school in Honolulu. I was horrified at the thought that I would be leaving my friends. I also didn't want to be one of those "stuck up kids" who ended up going there.
My father insisted I at least go check out the school. It was a lovely campus, great facilities and all. But being a typically dense teenager, I refused to leave my friends.
I turned out okay. I ended up going to the University of Hawaii but I did get accepted to Stanford, UCLA, USC and Cornell in New York - had to be on a waiting list for a short time for Cornell but ended up being accepted after I decided I was going to stay home. LOL Dad was not happy. Turns out I am an underachiever in that respect. But I'm happy.
Anyway, I ended up meeting a lot of very cool kids from Punahou who became my good friends and in a way I regretted not going to that school. They weren't all as 'stuck up' as I thought they were. But public school worked well for me and quite frankly, a lot of times it's what quality of work you want to put into it that gets you somewhere. I know people who went to Punahou who got kicked out because of a bad attitude. LOL
I do, however, agree that we need to put more into public education for students who don't have the private school option. I know the public school in the small town my granddaughters live in could use some help. The elementary level is okay but some of the teachers in the high school are morons, IMO. They need to step up the quality there. But they don't have as much funds and with the poor economy, even public education is suffering thanks to the mass exodus of people from this state thanks to lack of jobs.
I don't know what the answers are but I do know one thing. Pushing your child the way the people in Please Note were pushing is ridiculous. My husband told me it's just fiction but I know people in real life who are very competitive about their children getting into a good school, etc. Obviously not as extreme as some of the parents on the episode - teaching your child who can barely speak English Chinese and give him piano lessons when he's not even toilet trained - they still tend to be very competitive. I just don't see how that can be healthy for a child.
Even kids in regular schools seem to be over scheduled these days. I read senior activity lists and wonder when these kids ever just sit around with each other and just talk? And this is public school.
I realize I'm over generalizing in some aspects -- I don't think all private schooled children are evil or anything...lol, but growing up in the area that i did (i don't know, maybe it's a southern thing???) there were very distinct divisons within a city by class and race. Even here in Richmond which is a bigger city, but surprisingly much more conservative.
Sure there was the exception here and there within the seperate communities and areas.
I just remember being in high school and debates springing up about private school v. public school. My high school was very diverse because kids were bused in from the whole city since it had the districts engineering program and the "pre-IB" program, but a lot of the white kids that were bused in would rather have gone to private school because they thought it was better and they didn't like some of the students they had to deal with while being at our school.
And a lot of their parents put them in private schools to avoid what they precieved as bad or unsafe because it was so close to downtown.
it's a complicated topic, because every parents wants the best for their child.
The whole concept of hyper-educating our preschoolers makes me think of the classic and brilliant "How Children Learn," which mirrors my own theories and experiences in learning and teaching. Coincidentally, boing boing has an article about it recently posted:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/09/23/how-children-learn-c.html
I never meant to engage in a public vs. private debate. I know it's hard to make decisions about what's best for your kids sometimes without bankrupting yourselves. My parents were rabid about making certain before we moved anywhere that the public schools were up to par. My in-laws put themselves in debt to pay for their kids pricey educations. I personally think I get the better education. But the same isn't true for everyone, I know.
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