Babbling ahead...a lot of babbling...you've been warned.
I on occasion have weird dreams. All dreams are weird, but there are varying degrees. Like my dad's dreams constitute "fucking weird," where as mine are just "weird." I remember as a kid when my parents were still married and he would mention some of the dreams he had. In one the Nazis were coming and we all had to jump off the James River Bridge and swim to safety. In another, my mom and I went to a horse show with him and the hotel was attacked by terrorists. My dad has issues.
Most of my dreams are related to my obsessive compulsive behavior about time -- I'm compulsively early for everything. In high school all my dreams were about getting to class but either being lost in the school (which was never an actual school, but mansions or mazes, or once memorably a western saloon) or extraneous things hindering me from getting there.
Okay...so maybe that is fucking weird.
Most of my dreams I don't remember. Others I try to remember because I think they could be developed into interesting story ideas, but they are usually never as good on a page as I remember them being in the dream. On occasion I also still have dreams about my dad's mom and like to think it's her way of saying "hi."
Last week I out the blue had a dream about this guy I used to work with and who I haven't seen in nearly a year.
Last time we hung out it was pure happenstance. I was driving back from having lunch with one of my friends and passed by his house as I was starting home. He happened to be outside, so I stopped and we ended up sitting and talking for a few hours with him in his pj's -- weird, I know. None of his other friends were answering their phones and his girlfriend was out of town, so I guess he welcomed some company.
We always got along well and had a nice banter back and forth whenever we worked together. He's a Joss fan, I'm a Joss, fan. We'd throw quotes back and forth. Like when I was working full time and was still a full time student I would occasionally tell him "fire bad, tree pretty" (Graduation, Buffy, season 3) because I was exhausted and a little sleep drunk when ever we closed together.
I can be highly entertaining when I'm sleep drunk because I laugh at anything and everything. Yeah -- if you ever need a self esteem boost hang around me when I'm sleep drunk -- you'll be the funniest person in the world.
So, I will admit to having a bit of a crush on him. Personality wise we're very different -- I'm quiet and tend to avoid confrontation, he's loud and at times combative. But we have similar family histories, similar trust issues, we're both would-be writers, we both retain film/TV quotes in a sickeningly sad amount, both think Christopher Titus might have been the most normal person on TV ever -- we had plenty to talk about, but he has a girlfriend who he's been with since I met him -- and I'm not that kind of person, who would do anything inappropriate or to threaten that. Yes, I know the hanging out in his pj's thing sounds bad, but there was still nothing inappropriate.
Really it's perfect for me. Because we can hang out every now and then, but there's none of the scariness of a prospective relationship beyond friendship. I have a tendency to high-tail it the other way when people -- well men -- get too close. What can I say -- I have daddy issues.
So then I had this dream about him and it was a very...pleasant dream. Not dirty pleasant, but comfy pleasant. But I have no idea where it come from. I hadn't really thought about him much in the past year and then poof -- pivotal figure in a dream.
Of course now, I'm constantly thinking about him and have had two more dreams, because I want to know why I had the original dream in the first place. What in my subconscious made me think of him?
It's all very weird.
And speaking of weird --
Thursday after dinner I noticed that my left arm felt...funky. My bicep ached and it was kind of hard to hold up that arm. Then I could feel it in my forearm too and my fingers even tingled a bit.
I didn't panic immediately, but I was a bit freaked-out. I don't have the best family history when it come to heart disease and up until the last six months, I have not been very good to my body food-wise. So, I'm paranoid about having early heart problems.
So, I went to bed and tied not to worry about it. I even slept really good that night and otherwise felt fine.
Well it was still bothering me Friday morning. I went to work like normal, but was slowly starting to panic, so I called my mom because doesn't every body want their mommy when they don't feel good?
I mentioned to her that I had hit my elbow on my desk Thursday morning and she thought I probably had damaged a nerve and that that was causing the tingling in my fingers, since I wasn't having pain anywhere else.
So a panic attack was averted, but my arm still feels weird. Doesn't hurt as much, but my fingers still feel a little heavy.
Anyone who has actually read through all this -- you're a saint, because I realize there's nothing all that interesting here.
Well off to enjoy a day of laundry and hopefully relaxation. I have to go into work sometime this weekend to catch up, which I really don't want to do, but there's just not enough time in the week to get everything done that they are expecting me to do right now.
After watching "Thursday Update" the other night I've decided that there are a lot of issues that my bosses just need to be told -- "FIX IT!"
So after all that here's a clip from my favorite clip from "Thursday Update." Enjoy and have a nice weekend.
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3 comments:
LOL Well, I'm no saint but I did read the whole thing. I be careful of your tingling fingers, though. Mine do that regularly because I had tendonitis back in the nineties and once you damage them, it's easier to re-injure and you never really get cured.
Not to scare you or anything. Just saying be careful lifting and carrying heavy objects, etc. Every time I bring groceries into the house - if I over do and grab too many bags at once, my hands get numb and tingle for the next few days. Of course lifting granddaughters is also quite an experience. After they visit, it becomes more of a painful thing than just numbness.
As for dreams, I don't usually remember mine and I've only had one nightmare ever in my life. That's when I was about five or six and dreamed my parents went away and left me alone. This was shortly after I became aware that they were older than normal parents and could possibly die before I grew up so naturally it was a bit traumatic. That was all the trauma I apparently suffered, though. LOL
My weirdest dream involved a brief case mix up like in the movies. Then Robert DeNiro, a cop friend of my father's and my husband and I being chased by bad guys wanting their brief case back. LOL Other than that all I dream about is talking to people I know. Oh wait, there was the one where my cat at the time, Kilowatt, talked to me and freaked me out. When I asked him why he never spoke to me before he said he never felt like it. LOL The rest of the dream he clammed up and my husband wanted me to see his shrink with him at his next visit. :-D
See, you're not the only one with weird dreams. I think by nature dreams are weird anyway.
No saint either, just someone who is filled with curiosity about others...
I believe dreams such as yours, about people we haven't seen or talked to in ages is our brain's way of saying, "Hey. I miss this person. He added something positive to my electrical input that no one else has, so I'm going to send you images of him and maybe you'll see him again." Sometimes after dreams such as these, I've actually called people I haven't seen in years, just to see how they're doing. No pressure. No lasting friendships developed out of it, but I get to see that they are living their lives and I was able to get on with mine.
As for the tingling, do not discount carpal tunnel. While it's possible you did hurt yourself when you hit your elbow and it will get better, my carpal tunnel causes all these symptoms. If you catch it early, you can hopefully keep it from progressing. Don't be afraid to go see someone if it doesn't get better.
Have a good day.
Well, Music Wench, it's hard for me to avoid lifting heavy things. i'm constantly carrying boxes and stacks of phones at work. And i can tell that doing stuff like that, even just messing with the individual phones, is irritating it. It's mostly just my pinky and ring finger on my left hand that is bothering me now...i don't really know if that's a sigh of imporvement or not.
Goddessdster, i hadn't thought about carpal tunnel. that's a good point. one of the disadvantegous of growing up in the computer age i guess -- we've been typing and clicking most of our lives. Plus my mom's mom had bad carpal tunnel from knitting and cooking -- she was always doign things with her hands and had to have surgery for her's. this was when i was really little, though.
MW, that's kind of awesome that robert deniro was in your dream -- as long as he wasn't one of his creepy characters. LOL. I don't recall very many dreams with actors in them. though i did have a dream once with the cast of 21 jump street -- i was going through a phase where i was watching the re-runs when i got home from school.
well hope you both are having nice weekends.
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