Give me something to sing about

The system is done right now at work so I can't do any work right now...so this is what happens when i'm left to my own devices with nothing to do. Found this when i was looking at Goddessdster's livejournal. I have to say her answers are far more interesting and diverse than mine.

Shipping Meme

"Canon" ship:
Willow/Tara -- BTVS

"Not quite canon but should be" ship:
Does Angel/Cordelia from Angel count -- they got close but not quite and I was so down with that.

"If this happens I'll stab my eyes out with a spork" ship:
Buffy/Xander -- I'm way behind on reading The "Season 8" comic, but the first couple of volumes hinted at the possibility and I'm just there reading yelling "NOOOOOO!"

"You are one sick bastard" ship:
the Spike/Dawn (BTVS) one I came across disturbed me

"I dabble a little" ship:
I dabble only in Bobby/Alex -- I can't seem to focus long enough on any others

"It's like a car crash" ship:
Buffy/Spike -- but how much awesome fun was that.

"Tickles my fancy but not quite sold yet" ship:
Willow/Kennedy

"Makes no canon sense but why they hell not" ship:
don't know

"Everyone else loves it but I just don't feel it" ship:
Logan/Barek -- I honestly kind of wanted Barek to be a Lesbian. If I had written her more she would have ended up a lesbian

"When all is said and done" ship:
Bobby/Alex

"Guilty pleasure" ship:
Aren't they all?

"I could never abandon you" ship:
Bobby/Alex; Willow/Tara

Favourite devotion ship:
don't know -- i guess most of the ones I read could be considered this

Favourite never-met ship:
I think any character I've paired have met in cannon

Favourite abuse ship:
none

Favourite rape ship:
ah...no. I don't do rape fantasy and I don't watch hentai...It's bad enough that I actually know what it is

Favourite "Awwww!" ship:
Willow/Oz

Favourite perverted ship:
I'm a prude.

Favourite dominance!battle ship:
does Zoe/Wash count from Firefly because she could definity kick his ass.

It's all Goddessdster's fault...lol

So I have been tagged for harmless, mindless fun and I really have nothing better to do so here is my reply to her post It took a memeing to get me to post!

Where would you have your 8 homes, if you were as insanely rich as the McCains?
hmm...
1. Richmond, VA -- there are beautiful old houses here that I'd love to restore
2. Hampton, VA -- particularly my grandfather's house because none of us want to see the day when it is not in the family
3. Denver, CO -- Cabins, warm fires, and snow! we don't get snow. if any thing it's just slush -- I want a house someplace with real snow.
4. Brooklyn, NY -- because I wouldn't want to live right in the city...not that I actually know anything about the city
5. Philadelphia, PA -- hallelujah for Hoots & Hellmouth! -- one of my favorite indie bands --guess where they are from ;)
6. Raleigh, NC -- because I was born there, but don't remember actually living there and would like the experience
7. Los Angeles, CA -- just for the sole purpose to stalk-- I mean...admire Joss Whedon
8. Austin, TX -- my dad's only well adjusted sister lives there and it'd give me a good reason to see her more and to know her better. She could get me to try acupuncture -- she lives by it.

Number 2
Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.*Share 6 / 7 facts about yourself on your blog - some random, some weird.*Tag 6/ 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blog.*Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. I'm jealous of people who are left handed, but also intrigued -- I don't know why...I just always wanted to be left handed...lol
2. I'm deathly afraid of birds...most girls freak out about bugs, snakes, mice -- not me -- birds. And no, I never saw "The Birds" when I was little and I don't recall ever being attacked...I just have always been afraid of them
3. I'm actually a pretty good singer...though I don't have enough patience to learn an instrument -- I've tried piano a couple of times.
4. I used to want to be a TV writer/producer -- in fact a friend and I had a whole mythology, character archs, backstories and a near written pilot, but she moved to LA and I just felt like I was thinking about going there too more for her than for me...so I backed out. I suck, I know.
5. My prom date was actually dating one of my good friends at the time of prom...lol...we were just going as friends and they technically had broken up, but secretly had gotten back together...ah high school drama...i definitely don't miss it
6. I had a friend/roommate in college who I could have a conversation with all in "Wayne's World" quotes...lol...
7. I have a tattoo on my back, very small of a crescent moon -- me and my best friend got tattooes (her's is way cooler -- the hindu omh symbol) just before we left for our first year of college. I would actually like two more -- the Chinese characters for yin and yan -- one on each ankle as a sort of permanent anchor -- I think it's going to be my reward when I reach my final weight goal.

Well I don't really know who to tag. Can I double tag Music Wench? lol.

Everything's better with a new pair of jeans

I got a new pair of jeans over the weekend -- a size smaller I might add -- and I could actually get in them, even after washing them, with out a blow torch. It gives me a nice warm and fuzzy feeling, which I am trying to focus on as I return to work for another week.

I put in an application online for a receptionist postion at a spa. They must be using a head hunting firm that's sorting things for them. I'm sure I qualified for the position, but I don't know if I'm really spa material since I'm rather stlyistically challenged (I'd be a prime canidate for Tim Gunn). But it's your basic receptionist job -- setting appointments, welcoming customers, recieving/putting out inventory, etc, but it pays 5.00 more an hour than what I'm making here with full benefits -- I'm still waiting for the catch on this hourly wage for a receptionist.

So I figured it wouldn't hurt just to see what it's about. I don't know if it's really a good time to switch jobs and a cell phone company is probably more likely to endure through the bad economy than a spa. I mean cell phones have stopped being a luxury and are a nessecity in most people's eyes, so I think the economy would have to be in the seventh circle of hell before people stopped buying cell phones, but going to a spa people, I think...maybe I'm wrong about this, would be a luxury people would sacrifice.

However I also can't stand the people I work for now because I find they lack leadership skills, they don't appreciate us that work in the back office, and I think their morals are skewed -- their only passion seems to be to maintain their lifestyle.

Our counterpart in North Carolina (the owners there are friends with the owners here) a year or two ago had a discrimination law suit filed against them by their former inventory manager who was fired not long after it was discovered that she was a lesbian.

And of course my boss now is making all these snide comments like, "well if Obama becomes president you guys just might not get a raise." Please! Don't tell me I'm not getting a raise when you just bought a new BMW and are buying a new house (not to mention their "River house"). I realize that we are remodling and adding on to the office and that that costs a lot of money, but tell us that's why we aren't getting raises -- not something petty because who want for president isn't doing so hot.

So I don't know. If I were to get offered this receptionist postion it could potentianally be a better enviroment -- I don't really know since I haven't actually met anyone yet -- but not as secure. Plus I doubt I'd be as bored because there would potentially be slight variations to my day unlike here.

But I also would feel a little guilty about leaving since we're going into the holiday season and it's going to be incredibly busy back here. How fucked up am I to feel guilty about this? I guess I feel bad for my co-workers who would get stuck picking up the slack, not the bosses. But still, how much should my guilt factor into my decision -- because that usually effects my decisions more than it probably should.

I realize I'm jumping the gun, but that's what I do. I kill every possible option before it even happens and drive myself crazy -- it's why I'm so god damn indecisive.

So I'm just not sure which is the better choice...if I was to get this second choice. Security or better pay and a different environment?

"Abortions will not let you forget..."

There's a women's clinic that I pass by on occasion. It's a little building on the corner opposite of the VA Fine Arts Museum and beside row houses converted into apartments, where VCU and MCV students probably live. If you are on the cross street right beside it, you can see a little parking lot behind the building and an even smaller sign that says what it is, but otherwise the only way you'd know is from the protestors out front every Saturday morning.

They where giant signs around their bodies and pace the small corner, waving to cars and talking to whoever will listen.

Either my last or next to last semester of college, there were pro-lifers walking and driving around the campus in a van with an aborted fetus painted on the side of it. One of the men had taken up residents in one of the main walk-ways on campus (right outside the main dining hall) with two young boys with him, preaching to whoever would listen. He didn't get a very warm welcome. In fact I saw one student begin to argue with him about it not being his right to tell people what to do and how he should be ashamed for exposing his young children to this while preaching about the value of young life.

I don't think any one would say that abortion is a good thing, but it is nessicary (and a major factor in why I can not support John McCain). I had a professor that taught classes that doubled in religious and women's studies and she used to be an ordained baptise minister (still a rare thing in southern baptise comminities). It was really fascinating to listen to her talk, because it was so obvious that she had an immense love and faith for her God, but she also looked at the world objectively. She was an outspoken Kerry supporter in the 2004 election and really shaped my understanding of feminism and the abortion issue.

Of abortion she said, "I think it's unfortunate that I live in a society where that is nessicary, but we can't go back to back-alley abortions."

I think what many conversatives don't understand about abortion is that it's just a figure head on a much bigger issue. It's like, well if they take that away -- what's next? Do we go back to birth control being inaccesible? Are we then slowing forced back into the kitchen and out of the office? Where does their control end and ours begin?

Just because I am pro-choice doesn't mean that I don't see imprefections in abortion. I think there are women who treat it as an after the fact form of birth control and that there should come a point where people need to take responsibility for their actions, but you can't really force a handful of people to do that with out taking the right away from resonsible, decent people who made a mistake or who's lives are in danger because of their pregnancy.

It's not an easy issue, but it is a fact (and a needed one) of our society.

Below is one of my favorite poems and I think it perfectly paints the ambevilance and complications surrounding abortion. I love how conflicted the speaker is as she tries to rationalize to the children that were never actually children why she did what she did as a mother who was never really a mother. It's interesting because it really could be used for either side of the arguement.

"The Mother" by Gwendolyn Brooks

Abortions will not let you forget.
You remember the children you got that you did not get,
The damp small pulps with little or with no hair,
The singers and workers that never handled the air.
You will never neglect or beat
Them, or silence or buy with a sweet.
You will never lwind up the sucking-thumb
Or scuttle off ghosts that come.
You will never leave them, controlling your luscious sigh,
Return for a snack of them, with gobbling mother-eye.

I have heard in the voices of the wind the voices of my dim killed children.
I have contracted. I have eased
My dim dears at the breasts they could never suck.
I have said, Sweets, if I sinned, if I seized
Your luck
And your lives from your unfinished reach,
If I stole your births and your names,
Your straight baby tears and your games,
Your stilted or lovely loves, your tumults, your marriages, aches, and your deaths,
If I poisoned the beginnings of your breaths,
Believe that even in my deliberateness I was not deliberate.
Though why should I whine,
Whine that the crime was other than mine?--
Since anyhow you are dead.
Or rather, or instead,
You were never made.
But that too, I am afraid,
Is faulty: oh, what shall I say, how is the truth to be said?
You were born, you had body, you died.
It is just that you never giggled or planned or cried.

Believe me, I loved you all.
Believe me, I knew you, though faintly, and I loved, I loved you
All.

So I'm a Geek...I can live with that

Your result for The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test...

Pure Geek

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.


You scored better than half in Geek, earning you the title of: Pure Geek.



It's not that you're a school junkie, like the nerd, and you don't really stand out in a crowd, like the dork, you just have some interests that aren't quite mainstream. Perhaps it's anime, perhaps it's computers, perhaps it's bottlecaps, perhaps it's all of those and more. Your interests take you to events and gatherings that are filled with people you find unusual and beyond-the-pale, but you don't quite consider yourself "of that crowd." Instead, you consider yourself to be fairly normal.



Which, you are.



Congratulations! You're the one on the RIGHT!




Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:



Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Professional Wrestling






Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Take The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test at HelloQuizzy

Dubya

Oh how I heart Will Ferrell...

Saw this on "Weekend Update Thursday" last night and I need it here for easy access because it's hilarious and so true.

Hello, my name is Lindsay and I'm a B/A shipper

Hello, my name is Lindsay and I am a CI Bobby/Alex shipper.

(pauses for gasps and the shameful shaking of heads)

I did not start out that way and even when I started reading B/A fanfiction my initial reaction was: really? But then, like a junkie on crack, I started reading more and more of it and by the time I got to watching season 4, I was convinced there was a possibility. And now as much as I try I can't read anything that doesn't have Goren and Eames with Goren and Eames.

Here's something I posted a year or so ago on the USA CI message board, where I plead my case for B/A shipping. LOL. It's all in good fun.






Before I say why i would ship or think there is something more between Goren and Eames, let me clarify that even though I do like the idea of them together I don't actually want to see it. It can be implied and hinted at (which some may argue it already has been) but I don't want it to be the focus of the show. In fact I think if they were to do anything overtly romantic with any character it would be Logan because he is kind of a playboy from what i've gathered.

As for why to ship Goren and Eames: I think one thing that prompts us to want to ship them is the fact that there is a very Mulder/Scully-like relationship between the two. (Now i stress again i do not want them to go the way of the X-Files, but the parrells are still there). You have this quirky guy whose bright and charming, but can also be un-nerving in this methods and beliefs, which can make him hard to work with. Then there's this woman partner who really is his perfect compliment and is his link to the higher ups who are turned off by this thoughts and processes. And I have to say that Erbe & D'Onofrio have way better chemistry than Anderson & Duchovny.

All of us crave affection from other human beings and what we all need is that person who balances us out and is able to challenge us. When i say challenge i don't mean they should be arguing all the time, but they should open the other up to new thoughts and ideas, which it's very clear that Goren and Eames do that for each other.

Their partnership is very unique when compared to the other pairs of partners through out the Law and Order verse in how well they do compliment each other. I don't think there was ever a family-like relationship between the two, because i think we would have seen it like we did on SVU. I think the first episode of SVU we see Olivia go to Elliot's house torn up about a case, which makes me see a brother/sister bond between them, but with Goren and Eames, despite how close they appear to have become (or are becomming), they still seem to keep a professional distance between them, which i gather is more Eames's doing than Goren's.

Now if there wasn't some threat of more than partner-like feelings that distance wouldn't be necissary. It also appears that both are really married to their work, though for different reasons, and even though we have heard mention of both of them dating it doesn't appear that either of them have had any long-term relationships in years.

I think you could argue that (though i don't remember what the timeline was on Eames' marriage) they've been partners longer than either had been in a given relationship and for people who work as much as they do it's not uncommon to meet a romantic interest in the workplace because where else are they going to find it.

I think it became apparent in "Silencer" that they are too emotionally involved with each other (i don't mean in a sexual way) for their partnership to not get in the way of any outside romantic relationship. I'm sorry to all you non-shippers but Goren was jealous. There was a pissing match between he and Peter and it wasn't about the case.

Also the last scene in that episode is really intriguing to me as a shipper because they could have faded out on the deaf girl as she's watching her boyfriend being dragged off, but instead it cuts to Goren sitting next to Peter at the table in the interrogation room. Now i know i can be overly analytical (I was an english major -- it's what we do) but there was a statement being made there. I'm going to argue that it was a statement of choice. Those are Eames's choices and Goren's going to win.

He's going to win for a couple reasons: 1. he is the safer choice because ideally nothing romantic should happen between them (doesn't mean there isn't something already there, even if neither will approach it) and it's obvious that Eames has been living with her gaurd up since her husband's death, 2. those walls are starting to crumble and both Goren and Eames are becomming more emotionally exposed to the other and 3. she trusts and cares about him.

It's obvious that they care for each other through Eames's reaction at having to read her new partner request letter and with him you see the way he interacts with her change in season four. He's more protective. In "Gone" he let's the suspect get away to step inbetween a witness that's getting out of line with her, which in earlier seasons i think the suspect would have been his focus not Eames. Her reaction in reading that letter is so emotional and it's really the first time i recall in the series that we see such an obvious emotional response from her. It really tears her up having to read those things that she initially thought about him and you can also see a hint of fear at what his reaction might be.

I think if there were stirctly platonic or brother/sister feelings between them, her reaction still would have been emotional, but i think it would have been more subtle and there wouldn't have been any room to see fear, because their relationship would be safe and predictable. That letter wouldn't have seemed to be as big of a threat if their bond was as tight as a familial one.

Either side of this argument is complete speculation because i think in many ways their relationship has been very ambiguous, which i personally like because it leaves room for debates like this one. I can see how people would interpert these things differently from me and that's what makes it fun. Still, to me there is an attraction and flirtation there that the actors and writers dance around and play with. One thing i do know for sure is that my guy friends who are like brothers to me don't look at me the way Goren sometimes looks at Eames...I'm just saying...

Boy Meets Chuck and Hard Candy

Well, I've been in kind of a lull with my blog writing, but have been on the upstroke with my creative writing -- apparently I'm imcapable of doing both equally. So here is another blog of complete, long winded randomness.

I have to say Chuck is growing on me the more I watch it. I guess it's very relatable to me because I know those people -- I am those people (not the special agents, obviously...lol). But I am in that out of college, what the hell am I supposed to do now group. There's nothing all that deep about Chuck, but it's fun and has tons of pop culture references that anyone who grew up when I did would know -- all I need to hear is a Thundercats or a Jem reference and my deal as a Chuck fan is sealed.

I know this week all the hype was about Nicole Richie (not to mention the girl on girl fight to "Smack my Bitch Up"), but who cared about her when you have the surprise of Ben Savage from Boy Meets World. Any one who grew up in the late 80's and/or early-mid 90's, grew up watching one, if not both of the Savage brothers. I grew up with both, though I watched The Wonder Years more than Boy Meets World. Not to mention a film called Little Monsters with both of them and Howie Mandel as a kind hearted monster who lives under Fred Savage's bed.

Plus I liked that they made Sarah a band geek in her other life. It makes her a bit more relatable. And there's always Adam Baldwin -- we need more Adam Baldwin.

Then over the weekend I watched this little indie film called Hard Candy. It's a thriller that reminded me of a Hitchcock thriller, in that the suspense is dependent on what you don't see, which I love.

It's about a fourteen year old girl (played by a pre-Juno Ellen Page) who agrees to meet up with a 32 year old man, who she has met on the internet. Sounds predictible and one would think that we would see the teen try to escape the psycho pediophile and then learn a valuable lesson about meeting people on the internet -- but no. We quickly learn that the teen girl is not the one being manipulated here. There were some things that I thought needed more explanation or resolution, but over all it was well done and I would recomend it.

Now some life stuff --

Well we finally have caught up with our work load, but have not been moved into our new space like we were told we would be once we got caught up. It's sad but I just have no respect for my bosses right now. You can't respect someone who forgets or is late for a meeting that they scheduled, but gets all high and mightly if you are late. Of course the "Mom for McCain" bumber sticker and passive agressive comments aginast Obama are not helping with my fruastration.

But at least I do have a trained assistant now and things are coming together, but she is in desperate need of a real desk -- her current one is made of two skinny card tables shoved into a corner.

And the weather is getting cold, but staying sunny. It's quite pretty, even though (in typical VA form) we haven't gotten very much inbetween weather. It pretty much goes from warm/hot to cold...and then up and down a few more times. LOL. It's havoc on my sinuses, but I love fall colors.

Oh well back to work.

The Last Debate

If McCain spent as much time concisely explaining his own policies, as he did critizing Obama's, we might have some idea in hell what he plans to do as president.

That's really all I have to say about that.

Read Music Wench's blog about the debate -- I pretty much agree 100%

Though I am riled up about the Roe V. Wade thing -- but that will probably be a seperate post when I have more time.

Doesn't quite compare

I watched L&O: SVU last night. This show is generally hit or miss for me. Benson (Mariska Hargaty) just gets on my nerves and it irritates me to no end that she's an emmy darling, while Kathryn Erbe is constantly looked over, despite portraying a more realistic female role model.


I do like Christopher Meloni. I have a soft spot for actors who can go from one end of the spectrum to the other and do it well. He's actually a really good comedic actor and a part of me wishes that he would leave SVU and go do some quirky, off the wall comedy series. He is great in this one episode of Scrubs, where he plays a very much respected pediatrician, who is a little too attached to the puppet he uses to entertain his patients. So Dr. Cox "kidnaps" the puppet in order to bribe the pediatrician into fitting his son into his booked schedule. It's hilarious.


Meloni also has a cameo in Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle and is only recognizable by his voice. He plays this deformed, back woods mechanic and is completely ridiculous.


But I like that. I like actors who can go from stark seriousness to ridiculousness -- like Gary Cole, who is easily in my top three most underrated actors list, but that's a different post.


But, anywho, on this SVU episode, Stabler's (Meloni) daughter is in trouble again and it unearths this plethora of bad and dangerous behavior (drugs, alcholoh, promiscuity, etc.). They come to find out that she has bi-polar disorder and then we meet Stabler's mommy, played by Ellen Burstyin.


We learn that his mother, though never formally diagnosed or treated, also is bi-polar and how her erratic behavior effected his childhood. In the big dramatic scene between mom and son, he mentions a time when she pulled his father's gun on them and nearly shot them and then later we learn that she caused an accident that broke his arm.


I like Ellen Burstyin and I like Chris Meloni, but the whole time I was watching the scene between the two of them I couldn't help but wonder: were the SVU writers watching re-runs of CI, or what?


And to make matters worse, that scene just doesn't hold a candle to the chemistry and just heart wrenchingness of Rita Moreno and Vincent D'Onofrio. Rita Moreno and Tony Goldwyn were robbed by the Emmys -- both were absolutley stellar and did so much in such a limited amount of screen time -- that's acting.


Though, I'm sure, since SVU is SVU that they will get the acclaim that the CI cast did not.


Here's a YouTube video I found highlighting some of the scenes between D'Onofrio and Moreno. It's by Oliviafan29 and is set to a song called "Wreck of the Day." Not sure who it's by -- sounds slightly like Jewel...but not sure if it's her.

Dreams and freak-outs

Babbling ahead...a lot of babbling...you've been warned.

I on occasion have weird dreams. All dreams are weird, but there are varying degrees. Like my dad's dreams constitute "fucking weird," where as mine are just "weird." I remember as a kid when my parents were still married and he would mention some of the dreams he had. In one the Nazis were coming and we all had to jump off the James River Bridge and swim to safety. In another, my mom and I went to a horse show with him and the hotel was attacked by terrorists. My dad has issues.

Most of my dreams are related to my obsessive compulsive behavior about time -- I'm compulsively early for everything. In high school all my dreams were about getting to class but either being lost in the school (which was never an actual school, but mansions or mazes, or once memorably a western saloon) or extraneous things hindering me from getting there.

Okay...so maybe that is fucking weird.

Most of my dreams I don't remember. Others I try to remember because I think they could be developed into interesting story ideas, but they are usually never as good on a page as I remember them being in the dream. On occasion I also still have dreams about my dad's mom and like to think it's her way of saying "hi."

Last week I out the blue had a dream about this guy I used to work with and who I haven't seen in nearly a year.

Last time we hung out it was pure happenstance. I was driving back from having lunch with one of my friends and passed by his house as I was starting home. He happened to be outside, so I stopped and we ended up sitting and talking for a few hours with him in his pj's -- weird, I know. None of his other friends were answering their phones and his girlfriend was out of town, so I guess he welcomed some company.

We always got along well and had a nice banter back and forth whenever we worked together. He's a Joss fan, I'm a Joss, fan. We'd throw quotes back and forth. Like when I was working full time and was still a full time student I would occasionally tell him "fire bad, tree pretty" (Graduation, Buffy, season 3) because I was exhausted and a little sleep drunk when ever we closed together.

I can be highly entertaining when I'm sleep drunk because I laugh at anything and everything. Yeah -- if you ever need a self esteem boost hang around me when I'm sleep drunk -- you'll be the funniest person in the world.

So, I will admit to having a bit of a crush on him. Personality wise we're very different -- I'm quiet and tend to avoid confrontation, he's loud and at times combative. But we have similar family histories, similar trust issues, we're both would-be writers, we both retain film/TV quotes in a sickeningly sad amount, both think Christopher Titus might have been the most normal person on TV ever -- we had plenty to talk about, but he has a girlfriend who he's been with since I met him -- and I'm not that kind of person, who would do anything inappropriate or to threaten that. Yes, I know the hanging out in his pj's thing sounds bad, but there was still nothing inappropriate.

Really it's perfect for me. Because we can hang out every now and then, but there's none of the scariness of a prospective relationship beyond friendship. I have a tendency to high-tail it the other way when people -- well men -- get too close. What can I say -- I have daddy issues.

So then I had this dream about him and it was a very...pleasant dream. Not dirty pleasant, but comfy pleasant. But I have no idea where it come from. I hadn't really thought about him much in the past year and then poof -- pivotal figure in a dream.

Of course now, I'm constantly thinking about him and have had two more dreams, because I want to know why I had the original dream in the first place. What in my subconscious made me think of him?

It's all very weird.

And speaking of weird --

Thursday after dinner I noticed that my left arm felt...funky. My bicep ached and it was kind of hard to hold up that arm. Then I could feel it in my forearm too and my fingers even tingled a bit.

I didn't panic immediately, but I was a bit freaked-out. I don't have the best family history when it come to heart disease and up until the last six months, I have not been very good to my body food-wise. So, I'm paranoid about having early heart problems.

So, I went to bed and tied not to worry about it. I even slept really good that night and otherwise felt fine.

Well it was still bothering me Friday morning. I went to work like normal, but was slowly starting to panic, so I called my mom because doesn't every body want their mommy when they don't feel good?

I mentioned to her that I had hit my elbow on my desk Thursday morning and she thought I probably had damaged a nerve and that that was causing the tingling in my fingers, since I wasn't having pain anywhere else.

So a panic attack was averted, but my arm still feels weird. Doesn't hurt as much, but my fingers still feel a little heavy.

Anyone who has actually read through all this -- you're a saint, because I realize there's nothing all that interesting here.

Well off to enjoy a day of laundry and hopefully relaxation. I have to go into work sometime this weekend to catch up, which I really don't want to do, but there's just not enough time in the week to get everything done that they are expecting me to do right now.

After watching "Thursday Update" the other night I've decided that there are a lot of issues that my bosses just need to be told -- "FIX IT!"

So after all that here's a clip from my favorite clip from "Thursday Update." Enjoy and have a nice weekend.

Debates and other randomness

Well, I'm back on my oh my God I can actually write something substantial and decent part of my up and down creative writing cycle and therefore have been neglectful of my blog writing, so here's just some random thoughts and gripes from the week so far....and it's only Wednesday.

It was interesting watching the debates last night. I hadn't planned on watching because most of the time things like that just get me riled up and then I can't sleep because I want to argue with the people too, but I ended up turning to it and couldn't look away.

I know this is shallow and should in no way effect how I vote, but I was really fascinated by how they each moved. It was rather distracting for me because you have Obama who was like jazz and then McCain who was like old-school Nintendo music. (I think I may be forming a little bit of a crush on Obama -- he is one of the more attractive candidates we've had in a long time, I think).

I also just found McCain to be rather condescending -- both to Obama and to us. Something about the "my friends" thing really rubbed me the wrong way, as well as his failed attempts at humor.

I also was really bothered by this idea of America being a nation of good -- not to sound unpatriotic. I'm happy being an American. I have no plans to ran away to Canada anytime soon -- unless they ever make it possible for Arnold to run for president and he wins. Then I will be high-railing it to Canada. Or Norway -- Norway apparently has really good health care and I actually have a little Norwegian in me...but I digress.

I don't really believe in absolute, back and white, good and bad -- "good" and "bad" are all about your own personal perspective and I'm sure the Russians have the opposite view: that we're the "evil empire." Plus people are people and we all have the ability to do good and not so good things and since a nation is run by people it's impossible for it to be completely good or completely bad.

That's not to say that I don't think there is evil in the world -- I think it's very apparent that there is, but just the average person, who isn't devoid of emotion and doesn't do evil for the pleasure of it, is capable of good and bad. Even the most honorable man in the world is, on occasion, going to make some stupid descions.

I just think you skirt on dangerous territory when you entertain the idea of one group being this ideal force of good and another being a force of evil, because through out history people have done things that they thought they had the right to do -- in the name of their God, country or what have you, but in the same breath caused the deaths of hundreds of people. Our ancestors came here seeking freedom and ending up nearly wiping out a native race of people. More people died in our civil war than in both of the world wars combined -- so I think we have to be very careful about labeling ourselves anything, because when we fall (and everyone does occasionally at varying degrees) it's going to hurt even more.

Okay, enough soapbox -- I realize I very well may not know enough about the world to say these things but it's just the way I see it.

Work is driving me crazy -- I don't understand why it takes four months to even come up with a plan of action to do something when initially we were told would be done within the next couple of weeks.

I really wish I could Tabitha my way through all the boxes of phones that are circling my cubicle or that the other Tabitha on Bravo (I want to be her when I grow up) would expand to not only doing salons but other small businesses as well. I'm just so sick of watching the whiners who do half-assed jobs get coddled, while the rest of us get swept to the side. And they wonder why morale is down.

A part of me wants to look around for a new job, but I'm also worried that I won't be able to find anything that offers they pay I'm getting and the benefits I have. And I just don't feel like I have a good finical cushion right now to take that kind of risk. I guess I just need to stop complaining and get to work. LOL.

Was that even a sentence?

So, I caught about 20 minutes or so of the VP debate last night -- sometime just before their closing statements and I honestly have no idea what Palin was saying. There were key words being thrown left and right, but did she really say anything? She looked more like a beauty queen fielding questions, than she did a vice presidential candidate. Plus she just seemed to talk circles and by the time she finished I had completely forgotten what the moderator's original question was.

Maybe it's just me, but it irritates me when politicians say that they're just like me or that they came from a working class family and therefore know what your average person goes through on a day to day basis. I'm sorry but they don't. Maybe at one time they did, but it's inevitable that as you move up in the racks that you will lose sight of the "common people." The people that do the dirty jobs without recognition or worry every month whether or not they are going to get their bills paid without driving themselves into debt. I'm not saying it's their fault, but just an unfortunate side effect.

Look at in a smaller scale: the owners of my company for example. They started out as sales reps and worked their way up to owning their own market with three people and a handful of sales reps running a whole blooming company. But now, if you asked either of the owners what I do on a day to day basis, neither of them would be able to give you a concise answer (and their offices are right across the hall), because they have become too far removed. They make descions with no idea as to how it will effect the workload or job of a particular person. It's not really their fault -- they just got too caught up in other aspects.

So don't tell me you understand -- tell me what you plan to do, plainly and concisely, without the run around.

I have to agree with what MusicWench said in her Blue State post regaurding Obama's ads. I like seeing him in a chair just talking to us about what he wants to do as president and not why we shouldn't vote for McCain. For a few seconds it gives the illusion that he is in your living room, explaining what he plans to do for you. It's a comforting feeling because it makes him seem as if he really does care and that he's not just running lines by us. When was the last time we had a presidential candidate do such a thing?

Thursday! Thursday! Thursday!

So Thursday is the only TV night that I really look forward to and with the frustrations at work and murky finical situation in the country at the moment, some mindless fun is much needed.

First is "My Name is Earl." I will admit that the novelty of "Earl" has worn off on me, so I don't care much whether I see it or not, but I do enjoy it when I catch it. Plus, I kind of heart Jason Lee, for which I entirely blame Kevin Smith. Ethan Suplee (another Kevin Smith find) is hilarious as the dim witted, Randy. Even though he is an idiot I can't help but love the fact that his character is scared of birds because I am scared of birds (don't ask why -- I have no idea).

Then there's Joy (Jaime Presley) who just might be the best part of "Earl" and whose finger swinging and "Oh Snap!" has ingrained itself onto my psyche. In fact the first time I saw the LOCI episode "Untethered" and we get to the part where Goren is confronting his brother and Frank goes "just take Eames to a motel and get it out of your system" -- I busted out laughing. Why? Because in my head all I saw was Joy in a corner going "Oh Snap!" Seemed like a pretty appropriate response to me.

"The Office" has turned into one of my favorite shows. I know it gets a lot of flack for being an American remake and if I had been a fan of the British version I'd probably be scoffing right along with them, but I find it hilarious. Of course there's the Pam and Jim storyline and I'm just waiting for the fallout to take place since things have been so good between the too. I'm single and commitment-phobic, and if possible I'd like to live vicariously through them. I know I'm in the minority, but for once I'd like to see a TV couple just be happy -- I have no desire to see them turn into a Ross and Rachel -- "The Office" (I hope) is too smart for that.

Plus we have other couples to amuse ourselves with: the trifecta of Dwight, Angela, and Andy, and then another with Micheal, Jan, and the new HR person, played by Amy Ryan.

Amy Ryan is enough reason to pull me to "The Office" every week. The more I see her the more I want to see her. She was amazing in "Gone Baby Gone." This is the first comedic role I have ever seen her in and she does slapstick just as well as drama. She and Steve Carrell are great together -- on the premier last week they rapped. It was awesome -- white people rapping in general is pretty funny, but when you add straight-laced dorks to the equations the hilarity gets bumped up a few notches.

Here's a best of video I found on You Tube from ionre:




Then come November, LOCI will be back on Thurdays as well. I'm still a little nervous about the whole new writing staff, but hopefully it will be good and we will get more episodes that blend the personal and the professional in a believable way with out going to far over the top -- it's TV they're going to go a little over the top. And I am getting excited to see what Jeff Goldblum brings to the table. Either way it should at least be interesting to see where they take out detectives. I'm hoping we see a solid Goren and Eames partnership (and lots of ambiguity as far as how deep their relationship goes ;)) and a mending Goren -- because for the love of God I've over the angst.




Oh well...ta-ta for now.